How not to camp. How to set up the best-ever festival campsite
As any festival goer will tell you, setting up camp is a competitive sport.
Rolling into a music festival with a couch strapped to your Commodore is one thing. Kicking back with mates beneath a classic canvas bell tent, surrounded by the comforts of home, is quite another.
Remember that you are creating a temporary home away from home, a safe and welcoming place to retreat from the hullabaloo, so it makes sense to be as organised as possible so you can enjoy the festival with the no hassle.
Here are a few tips to ensure you lead the pack in the campsite stakes this festival season.
The couch. TIP - Buy well designed, built to last gear: Camping isn’t all about bells and whistles, but decent design goes a long way in terms of the aesthetics and reliability of your festival HQ. Good gear is made with love, using quality materials.
Top festival camping tips
1. Find the right spot
Look to camp in elevated parts of the campsite (think about potential water flow) but be sure to select a flat piece of ground, preferably with some shade. Now is probably a good time to check out your neighbourhood. These are the people who will be around you for the foreseeable future…through the highs (and sometime lows) of the festival journey … any warning signs? Pays to be aware.
Remove all sharp objects under foot and bring some extra tough tent stakes and a mallet to use with hard ground. Position the tent so that your door is facing away from the prevailing wind. Use a tarp or some shade cloth cut to size of your tent and stake under your ground sheet, this will provides extra protection against the elements and ensure the long-life of your tent.
Find the right spot. 2. Food for kings
Two-minute noodles are for university dorms, not festival adventures, and besides, getting gourmet in the outdoors is easier than you’d think.
Invest in a quality, air-tight Esky so your meat (pre-diced steak), spuds (par-boiled for efficiency, of course), vegies (and beer) stays fresh and cool. Be sure to keep a vigilante eye open for the camp mates amongst us with a proclivity for not closing the esky lid properly, thus resulting in beer not of the cold variety.
Whether your festival allows open fires or stipulates the use of the humble Butane cooker, remember that cast-iron cookpots are not just for celebrity chefs – and good gear leads to good meals.
A canvas utensil roll is a good idea for keeping all your sharp knives and spoons packed up and ready to go, and you can slip a cheeky flask to ensure the chef is plied with whiskey during cooking hour.
Top it all off with a fancy salt and pepper shaker and quality enamelware, and you’ll be eating like a king.
TIP - Best camping meals for festivals: Before you leave home, stock your cooking pot full of spices, preserves and decent olive oil. Buy a pill box from the chemist (or use empty tic tac containers) and fill it with pinches of saffron, paprika, cumin, fresh chilli and any other flavours that take your fancy. When it comes to one-pot wonders, it’s the little things that make all the difference.
Food for Kings, not kebabs for losers. Photo by Brooke Holm. TIP - Control your environment:
Once you claim your campsite, park all your entourage’s cars in a circle around your intended tent-pitching zone, and leave them there until home-time. This will ensure the safety of your crew once they’re tucked into bed, and it also prevents passers-by from trampling across your turf.
3. The Tent
A good tent is crucial to your camping experience, both for practicality and appearance. (Trust us: if you rely on a department store dome tent, it won’t just be your eyes that suffer.)
A good tent is a sturdy structure that’s made of the real stuff – canvas is a natural material that stays cool in the heat, insulates in the cold, and won’t tear in strong winds. It also breathes well and regulates humidity – perfect for the Australian climate (the major upside here is you’ll be getting shut-eye way past sunrise, while your neighbours roll bleary-eyed from their sweaty domes at the first heat of the morning).
A bell-shape provides a height advantage with a charming aesthetic, perfect for impromptu costume changes, intimate parties, and of course, incurring the envy of all other campers.
Inside, self-inflating mattresses are a no-fuss solution to comfortable ground-sleeping. Woollen blankets provide a cosy addition to the warmth and wearability of your trusty sleeping bag.
String some solar-powered fairy lights from your shelter (this is extra handy for orientation after a few brews) and hang a lantern at your tent’s entrance, to light the way on night-time toilet runs.
Only thing left to do is greet your neighbour, crack open a beer and create a nice communal vibe!
Look after your camp and yer mates! 4. Take care of your campsite (and your mates!)
We all know that the festival campsite can get a little messy as the day goes on. Why not adopt Meredith’s Clean Up Song ritual: gather your camp mates and do regular clean ups throughout the day to your favourite tunes. There’s nothing like a clean campsite when you’ve got a messy head …
TIPS - some more tips:
• Full length mirror, for pre-festival costume checks
• Heavy duty rubbish bags for no-fuss clean-ups
• A washtub for doing the dishes
• A spare car key (there’s always someone who loses theirs – don’t be that guy…)
• A dustpan and brush to keep your tent looking sharp
• Boots and sneakers are for outside the tent, thongs for inside!
Festivals are fun. 
